So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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