She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize