What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
