drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
