I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
