New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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