Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
