there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
