i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My bed smells like the plague
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