69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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