the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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