Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Actions speak louder than pants.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
