I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
