Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
