I'm really into asian looking animals
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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