I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
