The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
