I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
