i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
