Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
