After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
