evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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