I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize