This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
