i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
