I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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