It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
