Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I look better un-naked...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
