she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
