i would punch a child for taco bell
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
