Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
