Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You can't special order awesome
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
