so that wasnt chicken after all
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
