If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
