I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
