I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
