That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
