Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
