Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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