I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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