I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
