Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
