I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
