Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
