my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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