Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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