We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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