When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
