Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
