God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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