you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
