fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
COCAINE IS GR8
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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