Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
