Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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