you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
