did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
