Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
