Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
