I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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