I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She is in my trunk
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
