Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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